


You'd lose your mind trying to understand mine.

by alpacaswithhats



Category: Dangan Ronpa - All Media Types, New Dangan Ronpa V3: Everyone's New Semester of Killing
Genre: Alternate Universe - Non-Despair (Dangan Ronpa), Brother Feels, Drabble, Gen, Hopeful Ending, I Don't Even Know, I don't know how to tag this tbh, I literally wrote this after a test, I'm no expert though, Kaito is trying to be a good brother, Kokichi is difficult to deal with, even without Monokuma things aren't easy, more of a study of sorts, my take on Kaito and Kokichi being brothers, no beta we die like men, touches mental disorder kind of
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-03-05
Updated: 2018-03-05
Packaged: 2019-03-27 13:31:38
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 902
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13881882
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/alpacaswithhats/pseuds/alpacaswithhats
Summary: He should have looked closer, cared more, prodded more. He was his big brother for god’s sake, it was their responsibility to look out for little brothers, no matter if sweetly innocent or supreme asshole.It shouldn’t have taken a gentle nudge from Kokichi’s teacher to point out that his brother’s behavior wasn’t just the telltale sign of a horrible personality.





	You'd lose your mind trying to understand mine.

**Author's Note:**

> My personal headcanon of these two idiots being brothers (either in an AU or pregame, whatever hurts us more I guess) and now I can't stop writing these dorks damn.
> 
>  
> 
> Also this beautiful song really reminded me of them and this drabble so you can listen to it to set the mood if you want!  
> https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ci67LphFIFM

He was trying.

He always told himself that, despite how bothersome it was and how much he complained about it, he was seriously concerned for his brother’s well being.

It was just so difficult some days. The bad days, when Kokichi would open his mouth and the lies would just start spilling and spilling – never stopping, never shutting up – even about the most nonsensical things. He would lie about how school was, if he liked breakfast, hell even the _weather_ if it was a particularly bad day and nothing could ever stop him.

For years he simply thought his little brother was the biggest little shit ever.

At least he told himself that while their mother would simply sigh heavily and bury her face in her hands once Kokichi strolled out of the kitchen, off to who knows where.

 

He should have looked closer, cared more, prodded more. He was his big brother for god’s sake, it was their responsibility to look out for little brothers, no matter if sweetly innocent or supreme asshole.

It shouldn’t have taken a gentle nudge from Kokichi’s teacher - a kind and patient woman who certainly deserved better – to point out that his brother’s behavior wasn’t just the telltale sign of a horrible personality.

 

They took him to a psychologist the following weekend, their mother tense despite her usual unbreakable cheerfulness and Kokichi’s expression full of fear despite his harsh denial.

Kaito himself held his brother’s arm, trying to offer any sort of reassurance and comfort he could convey. He wasn’t sure if it was having much of an effect because of their rather icy relationship these past months, but he was trying.

A mocking little voice blamed him for failing his brother all this time and he tried to swallow around the guilt settling in his throat, biting like acid. Always trying.

The prognosis, while not entirely unexpected, still caught him off guard when it really shouldn’t. Compulsive Lying Disorder.

So many things made sense now, yet others still didn’t seem any clearer. His brother was nothing if not a enigma Kaito tried furiously to unravel and he ran against these invisible brick walls until his forehead started bleeding. Not literally quite yet.

_Just what were they supposed to do now?_

_Failure_ , the tiny voice rose again in the back of his mind. _What a hero. Luminary of the Stars, too far from earth to even see his own brother struggling._

Kaito barely heard a thing the doctor said afterwards. Instead, his gaze began drifting through the room. The walls were painted in a soft creme color and they were all seated in the soft plush of wide brown armchairs. He never felt colder in a room before.

His eyes moved to study the doctor’s face for a long while, yet he couldn’t remember a single feature of it later. Their mother’s expression had hardened into a frown and she was nodding along whatever the psychologist said with a determined hardness in her eyes.

But what burned itself into Kaito’s memory was Kokichi’s expression. Even weeks later he could still clearly recall his vacant stare, directed at the doctor as well, yet unseeing, as if he wasn’t even in the room despite his body sinking into the fabric of his chair.

His expression looked so lost, so _defeated_ that Kaito felt his heart throb painfully in his chest, struggling to fight enough air down his lungs.

This was not a look meant to be on his face, Kokichi was a little shit in every definition of the term and Kaito never ever wanted to see this kind of expression on his brother again. It was wrong on every level he could think of.

So he didn’t think when he impulsively grabbed his small hand.

Kokichi didn’t acknowledge him at all, his gaze still locked into nothingness. _His hand is trembling_ , Kaito thought, still desperately holding onto it, scared that Kokichi may fall apart if he let go. Or maybe he himself was the one falling and breaking, he wasn’t sure anymore.

It felt like zero gravity in all the wrong ways, floating and lost in his own thoughts, regrets and guilt until he wasn’t sure where he stood anymore, where he came from and what the hell he had been trying to achieve all this time. The room might as well have been devoid of oxygen for the way his lungs felt deprived of air. For a wild second he wondered if this was what drifting through the void of the stellar vastness behind this planet’s atmosphere felt like.

And then, like a spaceship returning home after a year-long journey of tasting infinity in its purest form, he landed again. He felt Kokichi softly squeezing his hand, barely noticeably so, but Kaito was so hyper-aware of his entire body that he still felt it.

Suddenly he was grounded again, reverting to the earth’s stead surface.

He looked up to see his brother finally looking at him, directly looking and _seeing_ him for what felt like the first time in forever, his face still unreadable but not mocking for once.

His eyes mirrored the same apology hidden in his own.

_‘I never meant to hurt you.’_

And maybe, Kaito thought as he mustered up a small smile and watched Kokichi’s lips softly twitch up as well, he could still save his obnoxious brother.

He would certainly try.

**Author's Note:**

> I unfortunately don't have as much knowledge about this disorder than I wish I had, but I hope it's not too far off.
> 
> I know my prompts are always kind of weird and unusual, but I hope it was still enjoyable to read!


End file.
